Why most people don’t become successful or live below their true potential
I started off poor in every aspect of the word. Being unfulfilled with the kind of life I was leading, I developed an intense hunger and the desire to seek for answers that helped me transform my life. By so doing, I found that almost all failure or underachievement in life can be attributed to at least five causes. These five are the main differentiating factors between those who excel and make the most out of life, and those who just get-byāletting life to just happen to them. These are the differentiating factors between those who live impactful lives and those who spend their entire lives admiring and spectating other peopleās lives from the side-line:
THE FIVE MAIN REASONS WHY MOST PEOPLE DONāT BECOME SUCCESSFUL OR GET STUCK BELOW THEIR TRUE POTENTIAL
#1 BELIEF (Yes! Belief.)
Until it occurs to you that it is possible for you, you will remain chained below your true potential. ā James Serengia
The number one reason why most people donāt become successful or get stuck below their true potential is this: It has never occurred to them that it is possible for them. In other words, they have never really BELIEVED that they can achieve anything beyond what they are accustomed to. People often hear and even use the word āI believeā¦ā but if you follow them to their closet, youāll realize that they donāt really BELIEVE. They have a bucketful of limiting believes that often manifest in their self-talk, going along the lines of, āā¦but Iām not good enoughā¦ Iām not like himā¦ Iām not like herā¦ I donāt have what it takesā¦ I didnāt go to the right schoolā¦ this isnāt for someone like meā¦ā
Here is the danger of wrong or erroneous believes: Erroneous believes causes either erroneous actions or inaction. Let me explain. For example, if you see yourself as not good enough, you will unconsciously act in a manner to validate or justify your belief. Another possible result is failing to act at all because you think, āWhy botherā¦ I am not good enough anyway.ā And then your belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Your beliefs and mindset are very critical because until you consider something as a possibility for you, you will not endeavor to do it. And, you know the drill: Until you do, nothing happens.
Every accomplishment starts with a strong belief conceived in the believerās mind. That belief can be in a form of a still-small-voice; a knowing; or a conviction inside you that whispers: āIt is possibleā¦ It is possible, even for me!ā
As humans, the results we get are simply the reflection of our beliefs. You see, every belief, good or bad, is a seed that produces fruits after its own kind.
We never act in a manner that is inconsistent with our deepest held beliefs. Therefore, to achieve something profound, one must first believe that it is possible for them. The phrase, āit is possible for meāā, arising from oneās conviction, and treasured in their heart is the most powerful force that makes the seemingly impossible possible.
In 1954, Roger Bannister broke the 4-minutes mile world record. Before 1954, throughout history, no one had ever run that fast. The prevailing belief was that, if you run a mile under 4 minutes, you will not only die but due to the intense pressure you subject your body to, your heart will explode inside your chest. This erroneous belief kept many athletes from pushing the bar. Every time they attempted to challenge the ārulesā, their mental blocks kicked in with a psychological stop-sign ā !
However, in May 1954, Roger Bannister came along and broke the record. How did he do it? In an interview, he revealed that before breaking the record, he used to continuously visualize himself crossing the finish line, looking at the clock, and saying under his breath, ā3:59, 3:59, 3:59!ā He understood that success is an inward-out process and more of a mind-game. One must see it on the inside before they can experience it on the outside.
What is more interesting is the fact that after Roger Bannister broke the 4-minute mile record, so many people broke the record, including high school kids! What changed? You might wonder. Is it the climateā¦? Is it the eating habitsā¦? I will tell you. What changed is the belief. Every aspiring athlete now knew the truth. They knew, āit is possibleā simply because it has been done. Roger Bannister changed the narrative and opened up a new frontier of possibilities that replaced the initial limiting belief. As Nelson Mandela once observed, āIt always seems impossible until it is done.ā And I will add: For you to accomplish anything beyond what you are accustomed to, you must believe that it is possible for you even when circumstances show otherwise. Considering something as a possibility is the first step to making it a reality.
In my journey, I have learned that for you to win in the battlefield, you must first win in the mind. It is in the mind that we fashion the powerful weapons we can use to conquer the world!
āWE ARE POOR NOT BECAUSE OF GOD.ā
S.B. Fuller was one of seven children of a Negro tenant farmer in Louisiana. He started to work at the age of five. By the time he was nine, he was driving mules. There was nothing unusual in this: the children of most of the tenant farmers went to work early. These families accepted poverty as their lot in life and asked for no better.
Young Fuller was different from his friends in one way: He had a remarkable mother. His mother refused to accept this hand-to-mouth existence for her children. Though struggle and lack was all she had ever seen among all her peers, she knew there was something wrong with the fact that her family was barely getting by in a world of joy and plenty.
She used to talk to her son about her dreams. “We shouldn’t be poor, S. B.,” she used to say. “And don’t ever let me hear you say that it is God’s will that we are poor. We are poor not because of God. We are poor because father has never developed a desire to become rich. No one in our family has ever developed a desire to be anything else.”
Ā The idea āNo one in our family has developed a desire to be wealthyā became so deeply ingrained in Fuller’s mind that it changed his whole life. He began to want to be rich. He kept his mind on the things he did want and off the things he didn’t want. Thus, he developed a burning desire to become rich. The quickest way to make money, he figured, was to sell something. He chose soap. For twelveālongāyears, he sold it door to door. Then he learned that the company which supplied him was going to be sold at auction.
The firm price was $150,000 (at the time). In twelve years of selling soap and setting aside every penny he earned, he had saved $25,000.
It was agreed that he would deposit his $25,000 and obtain the balance of $125,000 within a ten-days period. Written in the contract was the condition that if he did not raise the money, he would lose his deposit.
During his twelve years as a soap salesman, S. B. Fuller had gained the respect and admiration of many businessmen. He went to them now. He obtained money from personal friends too, and from loan companies and investment groups.
On the eve of the tenth day, he had raised $115,000. He was $10,000 short. “I had exhausted every source of credit I knew,” S.B. Fuller recalled. “It was late at night. In the darkness of my room, I knelt and prayed. I asked God to lead me to aperson who would let me have the $10,000 in time. I said to myself that I would drive down 61st Street until I saw the first light in a business establishment. I asked God to make the light a sign indicating His answer.”
The search for the light!
It was eleven o’clock at night when S. B. Fuller drove down Chicago’s 61st Street. At last, after searching through several blocks, he saw a light in a contractor’s office. He walked in. There at his desk, tired from working late at night, sat a man whom Fuller knew slightly. Fuller realized that for his dream to become a reality, he had to be bold!
“Do you want to make $1,000?” asked Fuller straight out. The contractor was taken aback at Fullerās question.
“Of course,” responded the contractor.
“Then make out a cheque for $10,000 and when I bring back the money, I’ll bring back another $1,000 profit,” Fuller assured the contractor. He gave him the names of the other people who had lent him money, and explained in detail exactly what the business venture was.
Prayer answered!
Before he left that night, S.B. Fuller had a cheque for $10,000 in his pocket.
Subsequently, he obtained not only the soap company but also the interest of seven others, including four cosmetic companies, a hosiery company, a label company, and a newspaper company.
S.B. Fuller broke the chains of poverty in his family-line and changes the story! He became the subject of admiration to the entire world!
Later when he was asked about the secret of his success, he answered in terms of his mother’s statement so many years before:
“We are poor not because of God. We are poor because father has never developed a desire to become rich. No one in our family has ever developed a desire to be anything else.”
Your fate is determined by your beliefs
The desire to change oneās life begins with a belief. Most people are stuck in life because it has never occurred to them that it is possible for them to change their circumstances. Therefore, they donāt consider change as a possibility for them. The results are predictable. Just like Fullerās father, they never develop the desire to be anything beyond what they are accustomed to. Then they retire to living below their true potential and settle for poverty and lack as their lot in life.
The success of SB confirms that the results you get are not determined by fate or the hand you were dealt with. The level of your results is determined by your sets beliefs.
#2 LACK OF DECISION
Everybody wants to be successful. Wanting alone will not bring success. Youāve got to decide to become successful! āJames Serengia.
Lack of DECISION is another major reason why most people donāt become successful or get stuck below their true potential. Most people like the idea of being successful but they have never really DECIDED to become successful. They just wish and hope as they casually wait for success to fall on them someday. And when the āsit-hope-and-wait strategyā proves to be unfruitful, they rationalize and say, āI am not lucky.ā āIt wasnāt meant to beā or they console themselves and say, āSuccess doesnāt matter anyway. After all, everything is vanity. LOL!ā
When I talk of DECIDING, I mean deciding from the core of your being and be willing to put everything on the line for the sake of your dream. This means being stubborn, and with a bulldog tenacity, putting your foot down, cutting off all channels of retreat, and sticking to your course until results manifest. You see, indecision is the reason why most people read great books and attend numerous seminars with the hope to transform their lives but remain the same.
Hope and wishes. Letās put that under a microscope a bit. As humans, we are somehow disillusioned to think that hoping and wishing will bring success. It is easy to lie to ourselves and say, āLet me be patient and keep hope alive, 10 years from now Iāll be very far.ā Well, 10 years will pass so fast and if you donāt have a plan and an execution strategy for your life, you will remain in the same state you are and perhaps worse. Whereas hope alone is a failing strategy, wishing is a pretty good recipe for disappointments. We can have so much hope for tomorrow and the future, but if we do nothing today, we will be like a foolish farmer who hopes to harvest yet he has not planted.
It is not enough to want, wish or hope for success. You have to decide and be committed to being successful. Nothing will change until you decide to commit yourself to do something and stick to it until you get positive results. And then, continue with the grind!
An ancient sage was once asked, āFrom your entire life experience, why do most people fail to get what they want in life?ā His answer was simple yet profound. āMost people donāt get what they want in life because they donāt really know what they want.ā Think about that…
The following is perhaps the most important life question that most people never consider answering. Many dodge the question and the few who attempt to answer it lacks clarity. If you can clearly answer the question, this can be a turning point in your life. Here is the question: What do you want? What do you really want in life?
Kindly take a moment and answer the question before we proceed.
Now. Here is the payoff: If you can DECIDE, and CLEARLY and SPECIFICALLY define what it is that you really want in life, you have defined your specific goal in life. This offers you a strong foundation and puts you on the right path that will lead you to whatāin your own termsāyou define as success. Your specific goal in life is also the North-star that will guide you in your journey and keep you from distractions.
A real DECISION will also help you in taking full responsibility for your life as opposed to waiting for someone else to come and choose or rescue you. By the way, no one is coming for your rescue. Youāve got to choose yourself, and then rescue yourself!
It is when you really DECIDE that you will refuse to make excuses and start taking 100% responsibility for your life. My life changed when I decided enough is enough, and made a strategy that helped to pull me out of the pit of despair and dependency.
Let no one lie to you, your life is not controlled by fate or circumstances that are beyond your control. You create your own reality, and you are responsible for your life. Whether you like it or not, right now you are in the driverās seat of your life. You canāt fold your arms and sleep on the steering-wheel hoping that things will be fineātheyāll not be fine!
You are the sum of the decisions and the choices you’ve made until this point in life. If you want to change your life, refuse to blame others for your life-situation and instead take full charge of your life and make better choices. Really, if you donāt like the results you are getting, you have it upon yourself to change the seeds you are sowing.
#3 PROCRASTINATION AND LACK OF ACTION
āTomorrow is the only day that appeals to a lazy man.ā āJimmy Lyons.
Another major reason why most people donāt become successful or get stuck below their true potential is procrastination. I define procrastination as the most heinous enemy that strangles peopleās dreams. And you are not immune to this enemy, he will strangle your dreams if you open your door to him.
I have also observed something. People who procrastinate are often lazy and always have a āgoodā reason not to do what they know they need to do. Whereas procrastination is the mother of all regrets, laziness is her sweetheart. Whenever you see procrastination lingering around, look again. You will see the husbandāMr. laziness.
āIāll do this tomorrow…ā āIāll do this next week…ā āIāll do this next month…ā āOh wait! Iāll do this next year…ā
And then the conversation graduate to a higher level: āIāll do this when…ā
Finally, this conversation ends with a very āreasonableā justification: āI didnāt do this becauseā¦ā, or āIf onlyā¦ā That explains away your failure, but worse than that is the regretful feeling that youāve settled for less while you were made for more.
I canāt emphasize enough that every form of reward comes from EXECUTION. No farmer with a sense of integrity and sound mind will expect to harvest before tilling the ground and planting the seeds.
The preceding statement might be a bitter pill to swallow but I have learned one thing. Often, itās the bitter pill that heals. So get this, and if possible, tattoo it on your forehead: Without execution, it doesnāt matter how breathtaking your dreams or ideas are, they are worthless!
Most people plan, research and talk about what they want to do but do nothing because of procrastination. I will argue that a day of execution is better than a year of planning and researching.
Donāt let procrastination strangle your dreams. From today, whenever you catch yourself procrastinating and making excuses and justifications for your inaction, I want you to know one thing: You are losing it. You are giving up on your dreams!
George Washington Carver made this observation: āNinety-nine percent of failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.ā The habit of making excuses comes from the refusal to take full responsibility; and taking full responsibility simply means taking ACTION, regardless of your current situation!
#4 LACK OF FOCUS.
āI fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.āāBruce Lee
Lack of FOCUS. This is another major reason why most people donāt become successful or get stuck below their true potential. There is a natural tendency for people to gravitate towards busyness that lacks effectiveness. You see, mere movement is not synonymous to progress!
I have come to learn that less is more. You can actually accomplish more by ānarrowing down and focusing on less.ā This is how you do it: Get yourself to focus and major on fewer most important tasks, and then do them exceptionally well. Capitalize on a few things and be the best in your chosen field.
Today most people are suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). These people are distracted and canāt have extended focus to concentrate on anything. As a result, the ability to focus with intense concentration is becoming increasingly rare and more and more valuable. Those who will excel in our time are those who will develop the discipline to get themselves to focus and concentrate. I usually tell my team, if you canāt put away your phone for 30min and just get yourself to focus, youāre losing control over your life. The phone, through its numerous distractions, is controlling your life and leading you to the ditch!
There is also another breed of people who want to be everywhere but are not committed to anything. Nothing can be further from the truth. As Rick Warren states in his book, The Purpose Driven Life, āTo be effective, you must be selectiveā.
The reality is that focused attention beats brilliance. You donāt need an extra IQ point if you can get yourself to focus. A person who is focused will get further ahead than a brilliant person who is distracted and has fleeting interests.
When I was new in business, I faced numerous failures. I tried out so many things, jumping from one business opportunity to another but nothing seemed to work.
I remember a time when for more than a year, my business which offered more than a dozen of services was just in survival mode. Month after month, all I made was just enough to pay rent. Despite my business engaging in a thousand things, it was just a means to pay bills, with nothing more.
āWhat is happening? Am I in the wrong business?ā More than once I wondered. However, my excuse of ābeing in the wrong businessā crumbled under the fact that others were succeeding in the very things I was failing. That meant there was something I was doing wrong.
Before bailing out with the narrative that ābusiness isnāt for meā, I thought it wise to swallow my pride at least for once, and seek advice from those who were succeeding.
Among the people I knew, was an older gentleman who was operating a very successful agri-business venture. I approached him and he was kind enough to help.
On our first meeting, as a way to catch up with me on what I was doing, this gentleman gave me a piece of paper and asked me to write down all the things I was doing. I picked up the paper and started writing. Minutes later, I handed him a list in which I had written over fifteen things my business was doing, not to mention I was the only employee at the time.
I thought he would be impressed given the fact that I was doing all that by myself. I was wrongā¦! He glanced at the piece of paper, put it aside, shook his head, and then blasted me with a statement that shuttered my ego:
āSerengia, Iām sorry to say but, you donāt know what you want!ā
He went on to explain that the habit of chasing āevery shining opportunityā was not a rare phenomenon, especially with young entrepreneurs who supposedly had a lot of potential but nothing to show for it.
After that eye-opening meeting, I formulated a plan to filter my ideas from āMany Ideasā down to āGood Ideasā down to a āGreat Ideaā. I then gave my all in executing on the āGreat Ideaā. Soon I began to grow with referrals from all directions. The results I got from narrowing down and getting myself to focus were staggering. I experienced better results by focusing and majoring on less.
My effectiveness came as a result of being selective and committing myself to be the best in my field. Within a year, I moved from just scraping by to growing a thriving IT company.
The myth of the serial entrepreneur
Most people admire serial entrepreneurs who successfully run a handful of ventures and fail to pay close attention to the fact that they pursued monogamy before polygamy. With unwavering FOCUS, they tarried long enough to have at least one business establishedāwith proper systems in placeābefore they could move to their next venture.
Before they had 7 successful businesses running concurrently, they at least mastered one and created systems to enable their businesses to run effectively without their active involvement.
#5 LACK OF RESILIENCE & PATIENCE.
āIāve never really viewed myself as particularly talentedā¦ Where I excel is ridiculous, sickening work ethic.
The only thing that I see that is distinctively different about me is that am not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be outworked, PERIOD. You might be more talented than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me, and you might be all those things you got in nine categories. But if we get on the treadmill together, there are two things: Youāll either get off first, or am going to die on the treadmill. Itās really that simple.ā
āWill Smith
Lack of resilience and the patience to stay in the game long enough is another major reason why most people donāt become successful, or get stuck below their true potential.
In order to network, constantly grow myself, and up my game in my businesses and personal life, I make sure to attend a business forum at least once every quarter. In one of these forums, I got a chance to converse with a businessman I greatly admire and respect, Darshan Chandaria. Mr. Chandaria is the chairman of Chandaria Group, one of the leading companies in Africa. Among the questions I asked him in one of our earliest interactions was this: What advice will you give to a youngster who wants to start and run a successful business? His answer has never escaped me many years later, āHe/she must develop a thick skin and have patienceāgreat things take time and resilience to build.ā
I see this all the time: Due to lack of resilience and patience, most people are good at starting things that they never finish. For example, most people enroll for a course; start to learn a new skill; or begin a project that they drop midway. Unfortunately, these folks never achieve anything in the long run. You see, if you are in a race, the crown is not for those who start and give up midway, it is for those who faithfully follow through to the finish line.
The following is a very powerful statement to stick on your mirror where you can re-read it every morning before facing the day:
All success comes from tasks completion, not just starting!
Stickability is a precious virtue for every champion. If you develop the ability to stick to your projects until they are 100% done, you will always be at the top.
In life, it is not talent or intelligence that makes people successful. It is resilience, grit, and the discipline to follow through to completion the things we commit ourselves to do.
Have a fruitful and blessed journey!
